


Miraculous Ladybug

by rubymarella302



Series: Unfinished Works [3]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/M, Gen, I'm so sorry, as you can see i'm not very constant, chatfic, we went from a 4k word monstrosity to...this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:14:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24598831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubymarella302/pseuds/rubymarella302
Summary: A chat is made. You can probably guess what happens next, until the OCs jump in.
Relationships: Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe, Everyone & My Batshit OCs
Series: Unfinished Works [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1777936
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	Miraculous Ladybug

**Author's Note:**

> OCs:
> 
> Atlas: pronouns what pronouns, crystallokinesis, damn can atlas sing
> 
> Lily: she/her, wolf miraculous holder but it came from another dimension guys, i feel like it's important to mention she's fourteen but i don't know why, also her concept art accidentally resembles lila a lot which is not what i was going for
> 
> Alex: ah yes the Supreme Bitchlord. generic aura schtick, you know. was my standing favorite for a while
> 
> aura magic schtick (again). you'll find i really like using that

[Ladybug created ]

[Ladybug added Chat Noir, Réna Rouge, Carapace, and Queen Bee]

Ladybug: Hello everyone! I made this groupchat so as to communicate quickly in the case of an attack.

Ladybug: However, because I have realistic expectations, I fully expect you to end up acting like this is a chatfic.

Réna Rouge: well well well

Chat Noir: we yeet again my dudes

Ladybug: Yep, there it is.

Carapace: well at least someone else is remotely normal

Queen Bee: do i not count???

Réna Rouge: your dad is andré bourgeois, mayor of paris for 6+ terms (your entire life), your mom is audrey bourgeois, fashion designer extraordinaire and THE style queen (no matter how much we all probably want to deck her), you're queen bee and you announced that to...the entire universe, you became honeybee (and have been doing an excellent job of keeping that secret), you're friends with adrien agreste and jagged stone, you're probably on good terms with prince ali of achu...the list kinda goes on

Queen Bee: yeah okay that's fair

Queen Bee: although i'm not really sure what terms prince ali and i are on

Ladybug: i heard from a friend when in civvies that he has a crush on a girl in his home country, so i'd advise to drop the romantic fronts, but that doesn't rule out good ol friendship! :D

Queen Bee: maybe i'll give it a go sometime

Chat Noir: as much as i hate to interrupt "good ol friendship :D" there is a pressing matter we must discuss

Carapace: the monotone march toward our inevitable, eventual doom which will pull us into the unending void

Chat Noir: what no

Chat Noir: nicknames

Ladybug: is...is he good?

Réna Rouge: yea he's always like this

Carapace: BABE

Réna Rouge: stop denying it you absolutely are

Chat Noir: aaaaaaaaanyway

[Chat Noir changed Ladybug's name to spots not thots]

[Chat Noir changed Réna Rouge's name to for fox sake]

[Chat Noir changed Carapace's name to meenage tutant neetle teetle]

[Chat Noir changed Queen Bee's name to less sweet than honey]

Chat Noir: and now you pick mine

for fox sake: like you don't already have a ten foot list of nicknames you want

Chat Noir: i will neither confirm nor deny that

Chat Noir: i picked all of your names. convene a council and pick mine

meenage tutant neetle teetle: does my place at the council remain if i change my name

for fox sake: no

teenage mutant neetle teetle: well imma do it anyway

[teenage mutant neetle teetle changed their name to bombshell]

for fox sake: first of all, please be joking

for fox sake: second, am i the only one who thinks it should stay Chat Noir

less sweet than honey: explain

for fox sake: chat is one of those people who everyone expects to be very chaotic (don't deny it i'm sure we all thought that) so keeping it the way it is is kind of funny

for fox sake: also, CHAT noir??? pun

spots not thots: while i very much agree with your reasoning

spots not thots: what if someone saw this chat on his phone while he was in civvies

spots not thots: it would most likely compromise his identity, and possibly ours as well

bombshell: i agree

bombshell: on both those counts

for fox sake: well in that case

[for fox sake changed Chat Noir's name to lovestruck dork]

for fox sake: thoughts?

less sweet than honey: well he is

lovestruck dork: i think we all know it's true but i'd prefer something else

[for fox sake changed lovestruck dork's name to knight in shining leather]

spots not thots: while that's also kinda true it's also a bit giveaway

knight in shining leather: yeah i don't know how i'd explain that in civvies ever

for fox sake: hmm

[for fox sake changed knight in shining leather's name to kitkat]

for fox sake: i motion that we give a formal vote

spots not thots: seconded

less sweet than honey: rena's motion or the nickname

spots not thots: both

less sweet than honey: thirded or whatever the hell it is

for fox sake: majority vote

for fox sake: motion carried

for fox sake: the name stays

less sweet than honey: on that note

[less sweet than honey changed their name to honeybitch]

spots not thots: why didn't you do that earlier???

honeybitch: i wanted to vote on what flavor of humiliation we force feed chat tonight

for fox sake: valid and also that's a self-deprecating name

???: not where i come from

for fox sake: INTRUDER ALERT

honeybitch: WHY THE FUCK

bombshell: WHO ARE YOU

spots not thots: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN

???: A long time ago -- actually never, and also now, nothing is nowhere. When? Never. Makes sense, right? Like I said, it didn't happen. Nothing was never anywhere. That's why it's been everywhere. It's been so everywhere you don't need a where. You don't even need a when. That's how every it gets.

for fox sake: ...can someone please confirm or deny whether that was a fever dream

???: unfortunately no it wasn't

???: i can assure you that did just happen

spots not thots: well who are you then

???: oh i forgot

???: it's atlas

kitkat: OH MY GOD HI

atlas: i am not within a range where i would be able to hear your screams of excitement, even with my enhanced hearing

atlas: and yet

for fox sake: HOW LOUD IS HE

atlas: chat, you know i love you (platonically) both in the mask and in civvies but i will march right over there and personally shut your mouth

spots not thots: i'm trying very hard to understand what exactly is going on here and i'm just not

atlas: if you jump up onto the roof i'll be happy to explain

for fox sake: are you on ladybug's roof

atlas: yes, actually

bombshell: ladybug can you confirm

spots not thots: i don't know what she looks like

spots not thots: however, i can confirm that there is actually a strange person sitting on my roof

for fox sake: do you want us to kick her ass

kitkat: counterquestion

kitkat: do you have a death wish

bombshell: what

honeybitch: what the hell

kitkat: you can't win against her

kitkat: trust me on that

honeybitch: who exactly are you tho

atlas: you remember the fight on heroes day

atlas: i was the one with the crystals on my dress

honeybitch: ah yes You

honeybitch: how do you survive in those shoes btw

atlas: i don't wear them all the time

atlas: just in, like, dire situations

honeybitch: please tell me you don't wear those fucking things only to fights

altas: well i have enhanced physical abilities and also i can fly

atlas: never really been an issue

bombshell: what shoes are you talking about

atlas: i get told that they resemble the reflekta shoes but with a gemstone facety pattern thing

kitkat: oh please don't remind me

atlas: not an option

bombshell: what why

atlas: let me answer that question this way: have you ever wanted to see ladybug with one long-ass braid

spots not thots: but my hair is pretty short in costume

atlas: i mean i'd love to explain but. repercussions of telling you about your future and all that

atlas: that's all i can really say

for fox sake: well that was a wild ride from start to finish

kitkat: who the hell said anything about "finish"

honeybitch: no yeah i doubt this'll be over for a long time

===

spots not thots: it's now three days later and i finally understand what atlas meant by "long-ass braid"

honeybitch: you looked really pretty but i think we're all just glad it's over

kitkat: actually hang on

for fox sake: oh god he's got an idea

kitkat: it might be good just hear me out

bombshell: what do we have to lose

for fox sake: DO NOT TEMPT FATE

honeybitch: YOU STUPID FUCK

spots not thots: don't call your teammate that but carapace they're absolutely right if something can go wrong it probably will

kitkat: my idea?

spots not thots: oh yeah go ahead

kitkat: miraculous swap training

kitkat: you could probably tell, but lb and i had no clue what we were doing

kitkat: if we swap miraculous, then we can train for that sort of situation and actually get a handle on the how the fuck

atlas: is now a bad time to offer an opinion

spots not thots: ...

honeybitch: ...

for fox sake: ...

bombshell: ...

kitkat: ...sure i guess

kitkat: can't be worse than fu

for fox sake: who's fu

atlas: that is Exactly why i'm offering to offer an opinion

bombshell: what

for fox sake: who's fu???

kitkat: shoot (except don't you'll shatter my window)

atlas: yes hello down there

atlas: anyway

atlas: go for it

atlas: if you did everything fu's way, you'd have lost forever ago

kitkat: horrificating

spots not thots: Quite

atlas: i've got my eyes on you. watch it

atlas: i mean, exchange around corners so you don't see each other

atlas: but please go ahead

kitkat: SEE IT WASN'T A BAD IDEA I GOT OFFICIAL ENDORSEMENT

spots not thots: no one ever said it was a bad idea

honeybitch: you just tend to have several at any given time

bombshell: yowch

honeybitch: look my name here is honeybitch you better believe i'm living up to that

for fox sake: WHO IS FU

===

for fox sake: hey i'm scrolling through some original works on wattpad and there's this tag that's slowly been on the rise

kitkat: ooh? do tell

for fox sake: 'idiots to lovers'

atlas: i'm blaming certain people in this groupchat who read this shit

atlas: also *side-eyes the Relevant Others*

honeybitch: they're going to make me go gray

atlas: what with magic, i don't even know if i can go gray but i just might

atlas: also, i regret to inform you it's expanded into a hexagon

honeybitch: ...you'd better be fucking joking

atlas: i mean

atlas: you know how they can get it shouldn't be all that surprising

honeybitch: it's not

honeybitch: but i don't have to like it

atlas: neither do i

atlas: whoever decided the only thing better than one lovestruck dork was two lovestruck dorks clearly wasn't thinking the biggest thoughts

atlas: but yeah both of them have each gotten another love interest

atlas: to which i say: ot4

honeybitch: actually

honeybitch: hmm

honeybitch: you have to consider how everyone feels

honeybitch: but yeah it could possibly work out

atlas: also did i mention both of them are holders

honeybitch: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING

atlas: you seem surprised and you shouldn't be

honeybitch: i'm not 'surprised' so much as 'exasperated'

atlas: it's just ridiculous

atlas: *mimics voice* utterly ridiculous

honeybitch: hey now

atlas: hey now yourself

atlas: but i said 'idiots to lovers', and i meant it, because that's what this is

spots not thots: what is 'idiots to lovers'

atlas: it's this trope in which person A has feelings for person B but B is too oblivious to notice, possibly including vice versa as well

atlas: think something like 'she's just a friend'

kitkat: i see what you're doing and the answer is no

honeybitch: behold person B

kitkat: what are you trying to say

atlas: may i remind you i know where you live

spots not thots: wait what

atlas: what like it's hard

atlas: some of the miraculous that you haven't handed out yet, i have guesses on who they go to

atlas: i know my friends are betting on it

spots not thots: they are?!

atlas: unfortunately

atlas: it's not like they need to tho

spots not thots: why not

atlas: would you believe me if my answer was Prophecy

for fox sake: definitely not the most outlandish thing we've heard

kitkat: considering, it's pretty unsurprising

atlas: would you believe me if i told you this Prophecy comes in the format of a television show and the director of that television show is named Thomas Astruc

spots not thots: it sounds REALLY out there but i'm inclined to believe you anyway

kitkat: wait we have a tv show about us

atlas: yup

atlas: if it's any consolation, they portray you as less of a disaster

kitkat: oh thank fuck

atlas: civvies!lb is more of a disaster

atlas: rena and carapace are about the same

atlas: the only character arc of you five that actually pisses me off is chloé's

honeybitch: WHAT DID THEY DO

atlas: you were about the same through to the end of heroes' day

atlas: but then they had some assholery slipping back in in season 3

atlas: most notably, they had you be the sole cause of stormy weather 2: electric boogaloo. an episode that was very different from those preceding it (lb monologued the whole thing), about character development and how far everyone has come, but instead they highlighted how much of a bitch you 'still are'

atlas: and while there are others i could name, they haven't happened yet so i can't tell you, but don't look forward to those because *takes deep breath* hoo boy this season is a roller coaster

atlas: tldr they aren't my favorite people

honeybitch: THEY FUCKING WHAT

for fox sake: i kinda wanna kill them now

kitkat: chloé's much better than they portrayed her

atlas: which is why i'm here

atlas: i can pick and choose what 'canon' stays and which headcanons to include, and generally do all of you more justice than the show writers

kitkat: THANK YOU

for fox sake: *salutes you for your service*

spots not thots: wait you can rewrite the plot

atlas: pretty much, yeah

spots not thots: can you write us knowing who hawkmoth is

atlas: i really wish i could

atlas: however, knowing his identity would emotionally and probably mentally break some of you

atlas: i can't reassign his identity either, because he's the only one with the specific circumstances who could actually become hawkbitch, and i can't write an entirely new person

atlas: the only thing i can do is be there for you when you need me and do everything i can to ease off the load

kitkat: ...shit

spots not thots: thank you for trying

spots not thots: let's meet up and just lighten the mood

bombshell: eiffel or triomphe?

kitkat: tippy top of eiffel is fairly private

for fox sake: done deal

honeybitch: i'll come

spots not thots: finishing up a thing but i'll be there

atlas: i'm sending you cupcakes, compliments of my team. lord knows you need them

~

for fox sake: wait can you give us more Lore Spill

atlas: can i bring in my niece

for fox sake: deal i adore her

alpha: what was that

kitkat: ALPHA!!!!!!

alpha: CHAT!!!!!!

honeybitch: how well do you know each other

alpha: Quite

atlas: you took my line

alpha: :)

for fox sake: moving on

bombshell: spill

alpha: first of all: felix

kitkat: what about him?

atlas: he was originally slated to be chat

atlas: think about that for a minute

atlas: felix agreste as chat noir

honeybitch: oh my Fuck

kitkat: that's terrifying

atlas: but that was scrapped and felix was temporarily removed from all production

atlas: reason being, the writers couldn't imagine the square actually reaching takeoff with someone like felix involved

honeybitch: i can see where they're coming from

atlas: they'll bring him back in the future, look forward to it

alpha: also bridgette was originally slated to be lb

alpha: however, she originally had the same name as the lb we know and love today, the only reason for the new name is to differentiate between the two. they are Very Different People

spots not thots: well shit she sounds cool

atlas: she wears denim shorts. take that how you will

spots not thots: fair enough

alpha: hmm what else

atlas: liaang

alpha: FUCK fine whatever

spots not thots: already given a name i'm beginning to understand what the hell you mean

kitkat: first name yue???

atlas: bingo bongo

for fox sake: what

alpha: i have a kwami too y'know

alpha: with me being the wolf hero, he was named after a wolf theme

alpha: yuèliàng is a romanisation of the chinese symbol for 'moon'

alpha: 'ancient chinese secret just like yours' and all that shit

spots not thots: wh

spots not thots: how

atlas: 'AHHHH HELP IT'S A GIANT BUG -- MOUSE -- BUG-MOUSE --'

alpha: 'no way you're like the genie in the lamp' 'eh i met him once. he grants wishes, big deal'

atlas: have you already forgotten the bit about the television show

kitkat: ah yes Memories

spots not thots: jesus fuck--i'm not asking

for fox sake: is this from when they each first met their kwamis

alpha: you get three guesses who said what and the first two don't count

atlas: sometimes i like to think about how the only line of defense against hawkmoth are these dorks. always puts a smile on my face but also How

kitkat: hey now

===

[kitkat added Viperion, Pegasus, King Monkey, Ryuko, and Bunnyx]

[kitkat changed Viperion's name to danger noodle]

[kitkat changed Pegasus's name to pogonip]

[kitkat changed King Monkey's name to bananaphone]

[kitkat changed Ryuko's name to analogical]

[kitkat changed Bunnyx's name to alice]

bombshell: i lost it at analogical

honeybitch: i lost it at pogonip

kitkat: well Excuse You i like wholesome things

pogonip: speaking of, can someone please explain

honeybitch: let it be known that chat is a gaming nerd who watches wholesome minecraft

honeybitch: literally just look up pogonip the pegasus and also i apologise

bombshell: analogical is a ship name

for fox sake: HOW HAVE I NOT HEARD OF THAT YET

bombshell: great question. moving on

bombshell: there's this youtube series that's basically therapy but incredibly whack and i don't understand why analogical instead of just logan

kitkat: vee's logo

bombshell: oh yeahhhhhh

kitkat: alice is a reference to alice in wonderland

kitkat: bananaphone is a reference to sesame street (i'm so sorry)

kitkat: i think we all know danger noodle

analogical: I do not

bombshell: it's not called a snake. it's called a snek

kitkat: if it's dangerous you call it a danger noodle

bombshell: if it shouldn't be touched you call it a nope nope rope

kitkat: if it's angry you call it an angry sock

bombshell: if it's cute you call it a boop snoot

analogical: That was a lot of information in a short span of time but I believe I understand

danger noodle: i can't be boop snoot???

for fox sake: omg he's like a kicked puppy

kitkat: no you can be boop snoot

danger noodle: i'm being boop snoot

[danger noodle changed their name to boop snoot]

spots not thots: we good?

atlas: they are excellent thank you

alpha: yes most excellent indeed

bananaphone: Whomst

atlas: crystals

alpha: wolf

pogonip: I see.

analogical: Then where's the chocolate one

alex: right here thank you

spots not thots: i'm just going to stop asking. nearly hit my head on the ceiling in shock

alex: why thank you


End file.
